Good Grief? What Navigating Loss Is Teaching Me About Feeling Everything

I’ll be honest: I don’t always love the names of my podcast episodes. If I could go back, I probably would have named Episode 40 something different. I’ve gotten into the habit of naming the show only after I finish editing, hoping the title will “reveal” itself. But when I’m editing late at night and naming the episode is the one thing standing between me and finally hitting publish, sometimes I just grab the first halfway-decent idea that pops up.

And so we ended up with the title: “Good Grief: Navigating grief with compassion and honesty.”

The phrase good grief stuck with me—not in a comforting way, but in a slightly ironic, almost satirical way. It felt too light for something so heavy. I kept asking myself: What is good about grief? The obvious answer felt like: nothing.

But then another truth surfaced: what if the point isn’t to judge our emotions as “good” or “bad” at all?

Letting Emotions Be What They Are

That, in many ways, is what this episode explores — the practice of letting emotions arise naturally and meeting them without judgment. Grief isn’t inherently good or bad; it just is. It’s the emotional imprint of a life event that shakes us, shapes us, and asks us to move through it with as much honesty as we can.

And let me be clear: I’m not claiming to be an expert on grief or depression. In fact, I’m sure there’s more I need to learn from people far more knowledgeable than me. I’m simply sharing what I’m walking through in real time because I believe these conversations matter.

For me, choosing not to judge my emotions has created more space for all of them — the heavy, the tender, the confusing, the beautiful. Instead of shutting down feelings the moment they appear, I’m learning to let them move through me.

Letting Myself Be Human, Even When Others Are Watching

The other day, a friend called me just before I was about to pick up my son and two of his friends. We talked about my recent loss, and I could feel that familiar tightness in my throat. For a split second, I thought about hitting the EXIT button and collecting myself before stepping into “mom mode.”

But then something inside me said, It’s okay if they see you being human.

So I stayed on the phone. I wrapped her warm words around my heart and wept.

I wouldn’t have hesitated to cry if they had been tears of laughter or joy. But sadness? We tend to hide that one. Maybe it’s vulnerability. Maybe it’s conditioning. Maybe it’s wanting to look “together” for the people who rely on us.

Truthfully, this wasn’t the first time I’ve tried to hide my sadness. I’ve done the quiet bathroom cry more than once. And sure, my family has seen me cry before — but usually at the “appropriate” moments: at a funeral, after a sad movie, during a meaningful goodbye. Somewhere along the line, my mommy training has taught me I that emotions should be compartmentalized, neatly tucked away until a socially acceptable window opens.

But grief doesn’t care about scheduling.

And as it turns out, when the boys climbed into the car, not one of them even noticed. They’re 14-year-old boys, after all.

The Gift This Loss Has Given Me

Strangely — and tenderly — the best gift this loss has given me is permission. Permission to cry when I need to. Permission to feel deeply without apologizing. Permission to show up as a full human being, not just the curated version of myself.

I believe that’s a gift to my husband and especially to my children, too. The more I allow my emotions to be seen, the more I create space for theirs. I used to worry about overwhelming them with “adult emotions.” But if anyone is naturally connected to their feelings, it’s children.

By hiding my sadness, I was hiding a part of myself — a part they deserve to know. I never want my children to think they must shrink or hide their own feelings to make others comfortable.

Being honest about what I’m feeling helps them know me more. And in a way, it helps me know me more too.

So, circling back to the title of Episode 40: while I still might rename it if I could, I’m seeing it differently now. This grief has, in its own complicated way, been good for me. It has opened my heart, strengthened my relationships, and helped me understand myself more clearly.

That’s what this season is teaching me.

If You’re Moving Through Grief Too

If you’re navigating loss — or simply navigating being human — I hope you’ll listen to the full conversation in this week’s episode. I recorded it with honesty, tenderness, and a desire to walk alongside anyone feeling something big right now.

💛 Listen to Episode 40: “Good Grief: Navigating grief with compassion and honesty” (click here)

Thank you for being here. Truly.Feel what you feel. Let it move through you. And know that you’re not alone.